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I am a mother, a new grandmother, and a teacher. But whatever happens in my life, I keep sewing. I have worked as a political communicator and now as a teacher in my formal life. I have also written extensively on sewing. I have been a frequent contributor and contributing editor of Threads magazine and I write a monthly humour/sewing column for the Australian magazine Dressmaking with Stitches. My first book Sew.. the garment-making book of knowledge will be published in May 2018 and is available for pre-order from Amazonhttps://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=barbara+emodi&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Abarbara+emodi

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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

This wasn't me I swear







I am not sure if the rest of you refuse to get out of bed in the morning until you have hit all the good news sites.


That kind of person is the one writing this blog. 


I am totally addicted to the news, part genetics as my mother reads the paper before she does anything else in the morning, and partially a habit I picked up when I was for some reason (OK I needed a job) was a political operative.


In those days I always read the paper about 5:00 a.m. to see if I had done anything the day before that warranted someone firing me for incompetence. 


My plan if this happened was to not go into the office and get yelled at and just stay home and sew. I never did get fired, incredibly, so eventually I had to quit so I could go home and sew or at least find a job that allowed me to do more of that.


At any rate I consider myself to have a fine eye for a story and for the kind of news that could get someone fired.


This story, pictured above, about some needles found in some sandwiches on a Delta flight caught my attention. Even more so was the description of these needles "like a sewing needle but without the eye" by one of the affected passengers.


Sounds like his mother sewed. 


Now I think I have told you before I have had surgery for the removal of a fragment of a size 70 Schmetz denim sharp needle from my own foot.


And youngest son also had a sewing needle removed from his ankle on the inside where it had worked it's way up over what was the course of a year the surgeon figured. (That kid has inherited my pain thresh hold, he said his foot felt funny).


No one was handing out Mother of the Year badges in the recovery room that year.


Of course to complete that story he gleefully brought that needle home, Exhibit A, in a glass bottle from the hospital which he promptly lost in the carpet downstairs while fighting his brother for the chance to hold it.


We went over that carpet real carefully but never actually found it again, and for a couple of days I was able to enforce an "Everybody wear shoes rule." 


Anyone else raise sons?


That same child was also supposed to be resting off his foot (it was an hour and a half of surgery) for the rest of the week except he was so pathetic when the rest of them went down to the Spring Frolic at the school that I drove him down there with instructions to sit on the stage and Not Move.


Of course in about four seconds he was gone and I lost him until I heard his name announced over the loud speaker as the "Winner of the school skipping contest."


OK that's my needle story.


But I never made up a sandwich with a needle in it, although I wouldn't rule that out as future possibility based on the evidence, so this story interested me.


Personally I am not impressed with the lack of an eye.


Maybe some sewer was sewing through denim with a too fine needle because she was too lazy to get up and get a proper needle and she pulled too hard and the head and eye broke off. 


And it fell into her sweater at her chest level and she couldn't find it because she had on her bifocals and looking down got fuzzy. 


And she didn't have time because she was late for work and that husband should have taken his own jeans to get hemmed himself like a normal person - he doesn't get that pants hemming is completely boring and she works so hard that the least she can do in her few spare minutes is sew something on trend for that thing on the weekend.


Pants hemming is not on trend.


So late for work she ran out the door and just punched in in time to get those dry old sandwiches made up on the line so they could be shipped out the door in time for that Delta flight.


I am sure this is what actually happened, based on my own experience, and everyone should just stand down and not get all worked up about HIV shots.


Of course there is the issue of it being six needles, which means six sewers, but I think this still works.


Do you think I am the only person who has broken the eye off a needle because she was too lazy to get up and get the right needle?


And jeans that need hemming should go to the cleaner.

7 comments:

Elaray said...

Winner of the School Skipping contest! That's funny! I'm so glad I raised a daughter!

annie said...

Absolutely hilarious! Every household in America with a sewist dreads the sight of those pins on the floor and even more so, one less pin on the floor. Three sons and two daughters. Boys more aware of pins than the girls. I've had such a bad day at the machine and it involved broken needles. Thanks for such a great laugh.

babs said...

My family has certainly stepped on their fair share of needles at this house. I don't think we've had any in the food yet. Babs

Angela said...

I have four boys (and one girl) so I totally get where you are coming from!

Colleen G said...

Because I stepped on a sewing needle when I was 13, one that had been lost in shag carpeting, I have a linoleum type flooring in my sewing room. That needle lodged deep in the soul of my foot and I hobbled for several weeks before somone noticed. It was my dad who realized and began a process of soaking my foot and slathering it with an ointment to encourage the needle to come out. He raised many fear-inducing possible outcomes. I wore shoes for a while. But I often find I have missed one or two needles or pins, not necessarily in the sewing room, and with aging eyes, it's doubtful that I find them all. Loved your humour and the memory that sprang to mind.

LinB said...

Six needles without heads makes me wonder if they broke off some machine in the chicken processing plant, one that punches holes in the carcasses so they can absorb brine better. Was the "school skipping contest" one where you stood in place and skipped your feet for a length of time, or was it that he had neglected to show up for class more than any other student in school? I am confused.

Belinda said...

I love your sense of humor! You give just thr right edge to my day. LOL.