It has to be.
This week I purged perfectly good winter clothes that I was sick to death of and put them into a big garbage bag. I took it down to the diabetes society bin and threw them in and let the metal drawer close before I could get sensible and drag them back out.
This week I also decided black is no longer, after my whole working career, my basic. Black and grey make sense of course when you are traveling for work, or downtown in buildings, but my life is changing. At the end of April I become a part-time teacher and that's it. My private life or the classroom, no more meetings, no more pitches about projects people are "so excited" about.
Black is so sensible when you need to stretch a wardrobe but there are a lot of cool colours that you can't wear with it. OK white, sure, and primaries and red and grey but it is not so comfortable with anything quirky or individual IMO. So I am going to go in other directions now. Indigo navy, who knows what else.
This week I took my partially completed SWAP that was based on black and white and red and winter fabrics and bagged it. Put it away for next fall when I am likely to change my mind again and need those clothes.
I refuse to do any duty sewing. Ever. OK except in emergency, family situations. But never, not for myself.
I am done sewing a wardrobe. It's time I sewed a life.
And where does this leave the White Shirts? Right where they should be. In the department of I will make them when I get up in the morning and decide that's what I want to sew. And I will. I have collected some wonderful fabric and patterns but the long sleeved versions will be waiting along with the old SWAP for cold weather. The seasonal white shirts will appear not when required, but when desired.
On the subject of seasons I was killing some time in my office this week between appointments and read CNN for news. I got distracted from even that by an article on midlife etc. etc. A question posed was that people tend at mid life to think of all the things they would like to have done, but haven't.
So I wrote that down and thought about it. I was surprised at how short the list was, but it was important to me, and some of it I note had to do with things. Here goes:
- I would like every single thing in my wardrobe to be a "piece" I love
- I would like my house to be really clean, every day. (this will require getting rid of some family members and the dogs, and will bite into my sewing "pieces" time, oh well maybe next life)
- I would like to have a big laundry sink. You know for dirty paint brushes and muddy boots and big things that you want to soak. Somebody ripped out the old one that came with this house and replaced it with a bar sink. All you can put in that is a teaspoon and a shoe lace.
- I would like to be able to say I am in the best shape of my life. This probably isn't as hard as it sounds considering I have never even tried to go there so far.
- I would like to write a book, OK, even a booklet. On sewing.
- I would like to have the same number of towels in my cupboard at the end of the year as at the beginning. Why does no one ever know where the towels have gone? The same people, incidentally, that want to know what I have done with the other sock.
That's it. I realize this is a weird list. Not on it are family or travel I notice. I have done a lot of traveling in my life and worked in other countries and any more places I go to are a bonus. I have a husband I really like, and will like even better when he comes home in few weeks. I had three kids and I am glad about that. Two boys and a girl. I used to wonder if I should have had another girl, but then now I have Scarlett so that's fine. As to working I have had some tough jobs but at the end of my career as a teacher I am doing the best job of my life. I am glad I will be finishing work this way - imagine if the best work of your life had happened at the beginning and the tough jobs came after?
I don't wish I had a big house. I can hardly keep up with this one. I don't wish I had more money. If I have a fabric budget and can afford to go visit my son in the States and my family in the rest of the country I have all that really care about.
And I want spring to be here, really here. It's change time.