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I am a mother, a new grandmother, and a teacher. But whatever happens in my life, I keep sewing. I have worked as a political communicator and now as a teacher in my formal life. I have also written extensively on sewing. I have been a frequent contributor and contributing editor of Threads magazine and the Australian magazine Dressmaking with Stitches. My first book Sew.. the garment-making book of knowledge will be published in May 2018 and is available for pre-order from Amazon


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Friday, August 26, 2011

Deep acting

Those Syle Arc Linda pants are great. I have a day off today and have made one pair and just cut out two more. More on that later.

I realized I haven't talked about my amazing visit with my old school friend yet (we haven't seen each other since 1972 if you can believe that). It is worth talking about because it, and she, brought some things together for me.

First of all, our outsides have changed. What hadn't is that we each knew exactly who the other person was, the original.

You know how good it was to spend an evening talking with someone who really knew who you are? 

We talked about everything, including my dad who has been gone now for nearly twenty years. She remembered everything and she made him come back to me. I don't get many chances to talk about him around here, my children barely remember him, and my husband never met him.

I felt very connected together when she left.

This has got me thinking of something I read about and something the movie The Help made me think about. 

It's a concept psychologists call deep acting. There was a lot of deep acting going on in that movie. It's a behaviour women get involved in, especially in work situations, where we are called to put a smile on our faces or act interested in something we are not, or be "professional" when we really feel we are by nature an amateur. I remember going to so many official events in my life where the other women were in black and large silver jewelry and in houses that were so precious, you know I would have killed to have gone into one of those powder rooms and seen a crocheted toilet paper cover someone's grandmother had made. I think of meetings where I said something was "exciting" when it wasn't at all, at least not to me, and of working for politicians who really thought the purpose of my life was them. Really.

All of this over time separates you from the original, and by the way, people who are forced to do deep acting too long really can't get back to themselves if they tried. The disconnection can be haunting.

Lucky for me sewing has always been my route back. Lucky for me my family and current job are what I need.

And my school friend, she knew I still sewed. She didn't need to ask.


Texan said...

Deep acting, new term for me but oh boy does that ever go on or what!

Linda said...

Interesting subject! Glad you got connected with your friend again.

jirons42 said...

Old friends are the best friends. They know where you came from to get where you are. I have a group of friends that started out in kindergarten and we are now in our late 60's. They are as close as my sisters.

Ruthie said...

That's so great how much you connected with your friend.
I'm lucky that I get a buzz out of work a lot of the time, and I've deliberately populated my house and desk at work with family photos, meaningful pictures and things that make me laugh.