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I am a mother, a new grandmother, and a teacher. But whatever happens in my life, I keep sewing. I have worked as a political communicator and now as a teacher in my formal life. I have also written extensively on sewing. I have been a frequent contributor and contributing editor of Threads magazine and the Australian magazine Dressmaking with Stitches. My first book Sew.. the garment-making book of knowledge will be published in May 2018 and is available for pre-order from Amazon


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Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Flypaper thoughts, hacked sewing edition

  • If you were waiting to see my swimwear projects 
  • You might want to settle in and keep waiting
  • Detour
  • Arnold Palmer is off and home all next week and we live 4 minutes from the golf course
  • So I decided to work up a golf outfit
  • Outraged that the stuff you buy is all polyester and about three times the price of the same stuff if it wasn't called golf clothes
  • Some hits and misses and some progress
  • Test polo shirt tab bottom was just a tiny wee bit off in one corner
  • No one would notice 
  • So I decided to fix it with my seam ripper
  • Operative word ripper
  • Polo shirt now has a crooked decorative patch under the tab
  • Haven't pulled a fix that crude since my high school outfit days
  • You know when you are down to your last nerve?
  • Well stop right then
  • I don't have much of a temper
  • Blow every 15 years or so
  • But then you could sell tickets
  • Take the knitting machine
  • Got one because hand knitting is so slow
  • Husband could run it like a charm
  • I did my best
  • Those things require the same amount of time to set up as it does to knit a sweater
  • Well when you finally have it ready the first row jams
  • Threw it out of a second story window
  • Spouse stopped me when I had my car keys in my hand
  • Was on my way to drive over it to make sure
  • That was 15 years ago
  • Speaking of violence a giant excavator backed up over the car when husband was inspecting a job site this week
  • He was fine but the car looks like a giant excavator backed up over it
  • Hence a week off to golf I think
  • I am probably the worst golfer you could meet
  • A lot more interested in the outfits than my handicap
  • BTW way do you know Birdie (my son's frequent visitor dog) once left a present for me under a cushion on the couch
  • It was a single racoon hand
  • No racoon attached
  • Sort of took me by surprise when I was straightening up 
  • Eerie how human a racoon hand can look
  • This is the part where it becomes really apparent I do not live in New York
  • Anyway we put it in the compost
  • Birdie is generally a good dog
  • What reminded me of that?
  • The knitting machine?
  • The excavator?
  • More likely the crooked patch on that shirt
  • Something that serious brings all of life's surprises and regrets to the surface
  • I mean really
  • I sew better than that
  • Off I go
  • Fresh start to tomorrow
  • New fabric, new pattern
  • Sewers have good bounce back 
  • We have no choice


Katykookaburra said...

I'm with you with golf clothes. I just made some golf trousers and now thinking of making some waterproof ones, if I can find gore text fabric.

Summer Flies said...

Is it wrong to laugh. Enjoy the golf.

JustGail said...

I agree with the golf clothes comments, it seems to apply to almost anything intended for women - clothes, tools, equipment. What's really galling is charging more for less quality than men's clothing.

Thanks for the morning laugh on the raccoon paw and the knitting machine! I have one and have always suspected it's not a sit down and start cranking out projects and been saving it for retirement.

Kansas Sky said...

Good morning to you! You've certainly added to the joys of my morning! Good luck on the golf course and on your next project.

theresa said...

You had me snorting in my coffee at the knitting machine incident. I once threw out a Singer machine, I think it was a "Stretch and Sew" after one too many jams. I don't remember an impulse to run it over though, but I did tap the garbage bin to make sure it was buried good and could not be retrieved. As others said, enjoy the golf. Sorry about the excavator and the car.

Theresa in Tucson

sewingkm said...

Oh, Barb, I so enjoy your flypaper posts!

Anonymous said...

Wow good thing no beloved husband or hound was in the car during the mashing (as someone who frequently has a dog in tow that was my first thought! Cars are replaceable.....and a week off is good too). And yes, a dog who leaves you the hand from the raccoon is one to treasure. Such generosity. Plus it probably got your adrenaline going for the day. On the non-dog front - golf clothes: we recently spent a week in a hotel that adjoined a big golf course - we are not golfers - and the golfing outfits were much more tasteful and sensible than I had anticipated for some reason. I guess the shoes have to be that clunky?


Anonymous said...

Well I had one good, long guffaw at the raccoon hand. And Birdie was and is a good dog. Don't you recognize his act of love to you. A most precious object.

Do you read Jenny Lawson with her taxidermied (is that a word?) raccoon, Rory is his name, on the front cover of her latest book. I'm sure she'd love a raccoon hand. Too late, I realize but if ever Birdie ever brings you another one you know who to send it to.

Crumbs. I'm so glad your husband is okay. Golf is healing, I understand though it wouldn't be to me. I'd be in the throwing the clubs out the window person and then running over them with the car.

That story also got a big laugh.

Thank you for starting my day in such a sunny way.

Good luck with the next front tab.

Vancouver Barbara

Anonymous said...

You make my day! I have early cataracts, bifocals and a seam ripper.....need I say more?

Erika said...

LOL!! Yes. Gotta recognize that moment when it's time to STOP. I can remember my mom and my grandmother seeing me get to that point when I was a kid! I din't listen to them too much about sewing (they were always wanting me to go step by step, and follow the rules ...) but boy were they right about when to stop.

Mary said...

I might have to compete with you for worst golfer. How do you end up with a second shot more than 30 feet behind where you started? Start with a ball near the edge of a fairway. Have trees lining said fairway. Hit the ball with a big driver using all your power. Slice badly. Ball hits nearby tree--hard. Comes back at you forcing you to hit the ground as it flies over your flattened body and lands 30 feet behind you. Ask me how I know.

Better luck to you on the links this week.