Sunday, November 15, 2015

Flypaper thoughts Fall edition

  • OK I admit it
  • We are into fall
  • No going back until we go through the ice and snow thing
  • Went with my husband overnight to a job site he had to check up on in the country
  • "If you go for a walk, stay on the roads"
  • There's the bears
  • Of course the coyotes
  • And it is hunting season
  • In rural Nova Scotia that means stay inside
  • The hunters apparently are not able to distinguish a tall woman in a shocking pink jacket from a deer
  • Something I am sure the bears and coyotes can do
  • In case you think I am one of those bloggers who talks about sewing but doesn't actually do it
  • That is not the case
  • The spouse has taken over supervision of the late-father-in-law's chair
  • You know the sturdy model A Lazy boy the FIL sat in for 40 years
  • The one I have been trying to drag to the curb ever since I inherited it
  • Apparently everyone's favourite most comfortable chair
  • This thing has 87 parts and each part has 9000 staples
  • I had plans to sew silk pants this weekend
  • Instead I have been working for a foreman who says things like
  • "You sewed the curved piece to the straight piece instead of the straight piece to the curved piece"
  • I am not enjoying this
  • I have been trying to sneak the 87 parts to the curb
  • Nothing doing
  • Laugh of the weekend was "Now we know how we can do this we can do this again if we want another colour"
  • Yes well
  • The next wife can do that
  • This one is about to down tools
  • Reminds me of someone who I used to work with
  • He was a genius, someone you stood in awe of
  • He had doing absolutely nothing down to a fine art
  • It actually takes a lot of effort and brains to never do anything at work for an entire career
  • How many of us could actually do that?
  • So easy to slip up and forget and complete an action item
  • So easy to make the call at least out of boredom
  • It takes a tremendous amount of self-control to never lift a finger for decades
  • Whenever you cornered this guy with a task he would say
  • "I would rather stick needles in my eyes than do that"
  • I realize now he was speaking of upholstery 
  • Hunting season makes me think of a woman I knew in Newfoundland
  • Her husband was RCMP in the middle of nowhere
  • Which no offense covers a fair amount of that province
  • Every fall they would go the pair of them into the woods
  • To hunt moose
  • "I cut her in half and tie one half of the moose to me and the other half to Joan and we haul her out"
  • The rest of the time Joan sold embroidery machines
  • When I am gone no one in the family will have known folks like that
  • Best the kids are going to do is one day know someone who keeps five urban chickens and blogs about it
  • Yes I am aware of the irony 
  • Speaking of hunting
  • Which is worse you think?
  • The sight of mouse poop behind the bed or the sight of a nice little mouse in a trap
  • Who can blame them it's getting cold outside
  • Those crack canine operators around here are falling down on the job
  • Least they could have done is wake up
  • I mean I can cut cheese up ten miles away and they hear it
  • You know silk pants would have been pretty nice this weekend
  • It's getting cold outside
Lobster pots in a yard in rural Nova Scotia


9 comments:

celkalee said...

Really, you should be writing stand up routines for those lame-o's who call themselves comedians~ And not one F bomb in the lot!!!

Elle said...

Nova Scotians are awfully tidy with lobster pot stacking

Bunny said...

Great post, living in the North Country up here, we are into hunting season as well. Talk about an interesting culture!

I worked with a similar genius. We would all say that if he put the same effort into working that he did into not working he could be extremely successful. But for him it was do just "good enough" and at that only if forced too. Lord, was he lazy! Your post brought back a smile, and a memory of his aggravation!

Laceflower said...

I feel your pain over the reupholstery, hope there is enough wood left intact to accept your staples. Chair seats are a snap but anything else I just slipcover.

Fay Reid said...

Absolutely hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Laughing about the "next wife" - my "next husband" is a fictional (so far....) gentleman frequently referenced as the one to ask about various unpopular suggestions, as in "see if your next husband wants to do that....".

And yes, hunting season, I was asked the other day if I would like some bear meat for Thanksgiving dinner. Probably not, I get queasy fixing turkey, let alone bear.

Ceci

Anne said...

Yep. I think.

SuzieB said...

Such a funny blog!
Re: Lazy Boy - tell those who want to save it to hire the re-upholstering done (by someone other than you!)
Re: Moose - how much does a moose weigh & what does it taste like cooked? My closest encounter was from the show Northern Exposure.
Re: Rodents - get 'em quick before they have a party in your pantry (have had many encounters here).
Re: Our world is not our children's world - I think of this frequently. Not only the people we have known but the lives we lived when we were younger and poorer - in the time before cell phones & being in constant communication with others.
I love your blog!

Catherine said...

My husband had a chair like that. It was god-awful orange. Didn't go with anything. It disappeared (to a thrift shop) while he was on a week long trip to the Boundary Waters.