You will be delighted to know that I am not doing badly getting fluids into Mr. R.
I know this because I woke up this morning and realized that some time in the night he had peed on my bed.
I am trying to get the house in shape before my friend comes over when I am away, and this was a set back.
I am of course washing all the sheets and mattress pads in hot water and disinfectant but the king sized duvet was a challenge.
I called around everywhere to try to find someone who could wash this for me today but no one could do it. No one. Not even Shiny Tiny Bubbles and you know how good they are.
So I figured I had to do it myself. The problem is I know from past experience that a wet duvet weighs about 900 pounds and after I was let out after The Big Fix-up they said lift nothing over 20 pounds or you will see us again.
I have no intention of doing that.
Fortunately I have recently completed the Canadian Home Fitness test which involved stepping on and off the coffee table and taking my heart rate on an iPad app. (only knocked over the cable box twice, they are pretty sturdy) and I know I have good lower body strength if not much else. Like common sense.
So with this on my side I filled up the bath and washed it and then took off all my clothes and walked up and down the wet duvet, sometimes on my knees because they are bigger than my feet, and thought.
As I stomped I wondered if I should add the wine regions of France to my bucket list.
I thought that with this as a workout I could skip the exercise bike today.
I thought about how fun it was, and how you can usually figure things out for yourself.
I thought about the Olympics.
I wondered what the events are in the Masters.
I wondered what the closest thing to duvet stomping is.
After that it was still wet and then I figured this was more or less a giant sweater.
So I got out every towel I own and rolled up parts of it and got more water out.
I figured the heavier the towels were the lighter the duvet was.
Then I eased it piece by piece into a laundry basket and pushed it with my feet to the dryer, even down the stairs.
I jammed it in the dryer, with my head and my hands, and managed to close the door.
In about five hours it will be dry if the dryer holds out.
I was kind of thinking I could use a new dryer.
This was a busy morning.
I feel like a shower, but I don't have any towels.
Tomorrow I hit NYC. I think I need a break. Or they will.