Tuesday, November 20, 2012

How to be a middle-aged traveling woman

I have so many things to write about, some sewing related and some not, but I have returned to my normal life and that this weeks involves all that end of term marking I always complain about.

So I have decided to do short posts until I eventually unload the debris from my mind into yours.

Tonight here are my thoughts on travel these days, particularly if you are doing it solo:


  • Air travel ain't what it used to be. They are going to ask you to take off your shoes. So you don't fall over in the line-up on both sides of the X ray booth, wear something that slips on and off easily. Practice this at home in a closet or somewhere cramped until you get the hang of it.
  • You are going to spend a lot of time rooting around in that big carryon-carryall desperately hoping that your boarding pass/passport/customs forms were not part of the junk you emptied out in the garbage can in the ladies room several terminals back. Have one designated zippered bag for this stuff. Make it red so you can see it in the bottom of your giant carryon bag. If you have an embroidery machine you can even put something evident on it like "things that I will have a heart attack if I lose" on it.
  • If you are taking your bamboo needles with you to knit socks, take five not four needles. In case one rolls under the seat in front of you or in case it gets sat on in 14D, which is your seat number and not a combination of your cup size and the dress size you once were.
  • Keep a pen in your red important inside-the-purse bag. They are going to ask you to fill out customs forms that say you are not traveling with $10,000 cash on you (how is that possible you went to Mood with Carolyn?) and not importing firearms or sheep manure samples or raffia furniture and no one will lend you a pen to do it - in particular the flight attendants who have pens in their hands.
  • Do not wear clothes to travel that you wouldn't wear at home just because they are no-iron, roll up small, and have 200 pockets. You don't want to look like you haven't been out of the house before. This rule of course does not apply if you are going to NYC and what you wear at home has rhinestones on the back pockets or is a Mumu that glows in the dark. In this case you wear exactly what you would never wear at home, and make it in black.
  • A toothbrush. These are easy to leave at home next to the sink along with your passport. The going rate for toothbrushes with mobile bristles is $19 at most international airports.
Next entry is how it is easy to be relaxed and confident in New York even if you are the sort of woman who doesn't even like to drive over the bridge at home in a windy day.

8 comments:

The Hojnackes said...

The embroidered, zippered, red bag is great! Air travel can be quite overwhelming with all the rules these days, for sure.

Anonymous said...

Barb, glad you are back, sense of humour intact and with lots of stories and tips to share. Catch your breath, get that marking done and then we'll celebrate with lunch at a nifty little restaurant in my neck of the woods.My treat because I know you spent all your money on fabric in NYC:)

Donna
My sewing machine is still in at the repair shop.

Barbara Q said...

Having just returned home from a nearly 5 hour flight from Atlanta to Seattle, I share your pain. My best tip is to give up and wear a passport-and-boarding-pass holder around your neck. You will only have to part company with it briefly when you stick all your stuff in the bin. I am seriously considering asking my doctor for tranquilizers for long trips. Noise of screaming babies, having my knees jammed up into the seat in front of me, watching my seat mate down four airplane-size bottles of scotch and listening to him sing afterwards. The list goes on.

Branka said...

Hilarious! Good advice though. Soon im flying from Eu to Canada so it's good to remember this stuff! Glad you are back Barbara!

Katy Nash said...

I'm a new reader to your blog but I'm already hooked and can't wait for your next post! You don't know how insanely jealous I am that a) you spent time with so much fabric lately and b) you were in NY. At this point I can only dream of these things!

Bunny said...

Welcome back, Barb. I can't wait to hear more. I missed getting my morning smile from your great posts.

a little sewing said...

Barbara, your humor always tickles me! I am so glad you have a son in NYC, as that means we will meet up eventually. You can let him know he is not to accept a job elsewhere.

Summer Flies said...

You crack me up! I have travelled extensively so ditto to everything you said... I just could never say it as well as you !